


In Suspense

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:29:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8644279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Kylo has been gone TWO whole days...





	

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”   


Kylo stares. And then turns his head through ninety degrees. And then back and the other way.

“Kylo, I’m serious. Get me the fuck down.”  


“…how did you…?”  


“The manual was in poorly translated Basic, because it’s obviously a cheap knock-off, and it’s probably also malfunctioning,” Hux sighs. “Could you mock me later, and help me now?”  


“I don’t… want to hurt you accidentally?”  


“My _ass is on fire, and my arms are nearly ripped out, I think I ruptured my **spleen** and several organs I didn’t know I **had,** so if you could please just use the Force or something, a few bruises won’t hurt me any more than my pride already does.”_  


Kylo nearly chokes. 

“It didn’t come with an off-switch?”  


“DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE SUSPENDED FROM THIS FUCKING FUCK-MURDER-MACHINE IF I COULD REACH IT?”  


Kylo supposes that is fair, and walks in. He puts a hand around Hux’s waist (ignoring the creeping, semi-sentient droid tentacle that tries to break his wrist) and starts to pry him out of the nest of sticky, groping, tightening cables.

“Hux, I was gone for two days. I thought you said _I_ was the insatiable one.”  


“Yeah, well, a man got needs. And you spoiled me by being more sexually reliable than my toy cupboard, is all. I got… used to a standard of living.”  


Evidently. Even on the black market, this can’t have been cheap or easy to source. “I think it’s just the logic circuitry that needs work,” he says, as he unhitches a suction cup. The mark behind is pink and purple already. “I could fix that.”

“I’m not letting you tamper with the sex-assassin-droid! It’ll wipe out my whole crew!”  


Kylo rolls his eyes. “Do you want to keep insulting me, or do you want to get out of this in one piece?”

Hux whimpers. Kylo rips the next row of cups off. It really is ingenious. 


End file.
